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A lot of times Janice said, 'You two go ahead and have some time together.'"For me, it felt like I could talk to my dad with privacy. Even now, she'll say, 'Why don't you and dad go shopping together and I'll stay back.' It's essential to make sure the child feels important in their parent's life and heart."Marich was determined from the beginning to be a good stepmother, because she experienced firsthand the sadness that can arise in tense stepparenting relationships. The father didn't remarry until Marich's mother was in her 20s, but Marich's mother never overcame her resentment.

If people thought the stepmother was her mother, she quickly corrected them with a stern: "She's my stepmother!

She and Douglas even invited Elizabeth's mom to extended-family gatherings. In her parenting-children -of-divorce classes "we talk about a divorce being a death," Hornbogen said."For the husband and wife, it's the death of a relationship.

It may take a long time — if ever — to develop real love for one another."Marich made it clear from the beginning that she wasn't there to replace Elizabeth's mother.

By Rebecca Nappi The Spokesman-Review, Spokane, Wash Related Living RSS feed Janice Marich's future husband, Douglas, made this clear while they were dating: He was a package deal. "She gave me grandchildren."Successful stepmoms like Marich aren't all that rare in our society, but you'd never know it. In Portland, Terri Horman, the stepmother of missing 7-year-old Kyron, is under suspicion in the boy's June 4 disappearance.

And media stories often highlight stepmoms gone bad. She embraced it all, and now, 20 years into her marriage with Douglas, she can't imagine a life without Elizabeth Thomas, now 30; Elizabeth's husband, Nicholas; and their three children, Sadie, 7, Emma, 5, and Nathan, 1."She gave me a family," Marich said. And media stories often highlight stepmoms gone bad.

"Marich's great hope was for Elizabeth never to feel that same tension about her. A Spokane County United Way vice president for community relations, Marich has also been involved in the Our Kids: Our Business campaign for four years.

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The Our Kids initiative stresses that the more people who love children, the better.Even before suspicious revelations about her surfaced, website commenters had convicted Horman of the crime."Follow the stepmom!