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29-Oct-2019 16:16

A woman who wants to stay up all night smoking Gauloises and talking about Keats."Is actually looking for: A woman who will listen to him talk all night. Also, there's a specific place for you to talk up your hobbies, and it's not your handle, ILike Sexn Soccer. (And if they were, Ding Dong 9Inch Wong would take it every year.) All a username has to convey is "I'm not crazy." Your profile can take it from there.Wouldn't this same sentiment—"I enjoy playing soccer in the park, and an active sex life is important to me"—sound less caveman-ish in your actual profile? Davidson: "A selfie with your dog in the park might work—you look like a real person.It was a Whole Foods of my own sexual imagination—and I was shopping on an empty stomach.I'd end up on five or six dates in a week, sometimes scheduling Saturday brunch and dinner dates like a football player doing two-a-days to get in shape.(Okay, maybe I will.) I'd like to tell you I hang glide and build soup kitchens in Haiti, but last Saturday I got drunk at home and watched an entire season of_ Gossip Girl_.I guess that's me 'living in the moment.' God, I'm such a dork.""Why do we connect?What causes solitary beings to want so desperately to be close to one another? I enjoy tandem bicycle rides.""How would I describe myself?

So let your freak/geek/pedantic-wine-lover flag fly."My life is CRAZY.The alternatives— brutal honesty or the soft letdown—only sting more and waste your time.Besides: Effortless rejection is one of online dating's great achievements.I am a questioner, a daughter, a sister, a sinner, a saint, a passionate lover— a bit of everything! "The biggest complaint we get from women is that guys don't pull the trigger and ask them out," Langston explains. The worst that could happen is she says no and your crippling insecurities send you into a tailspin of drugs and despair._—Andrew Richdale _It's counterintuitive, but mentioning a woman's looks in your first e-mail comes off as creepy—like you've started fapping.

I think that about covers it.""Hello I am funs human from Romania. I LIVE IN MOMENT."_—Drew Magary _No pressure, but that first message is as do-or-die as it gets in online dating. "We've found that subtle self-deprecation works great," says Langston, "and that a joke works out terribly." Mention a common interest from her profile—we both like skiing! Compliment her ironic Kanye shades, sure— just not any part of her actual body._—Julianne Smolinski _You want to suck the air out of a potential first date?To look more put together, try dark jeans, a slim-collar shirt, and a well-tailored suit jacket in gray—it reads more casual than black, less preppy than navy."Davidson: "If your pals are on Facebook or Instagram, there's probably some photos of you on there that you like, and you won't look as if you're posing or trying too hard."Displaying your guts by completing questions like "On a typical Friday night I am..." and "I'm really good at..." will make you feel self-conscious and absurd— and that's normal.



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