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Your personal information is not disclosed and it's only you who decide to make your information known to the users you meet.
If you want to find a partner and a person's profile says he or she is looking for a pen pal or friend, then it's clear from the start that you are incompatible.
Unfortunately, finding a match at this stage of life can be quite difficult.
Most local men and women of the same age group are unavailable since they have their families.
If it's your first online date or, in other words, first chat, keep a positive outlook and leave alone the topics dealing with the causes of your divorce or the death of your spouse.
Just enjoy each other's company and try to get to know each other better in an unobtrusive way.
Being a 40 or 40-something you have a great life experience and you'll definitely find the topics to discuss.